BEAUTY... ANOTHER THING TO REALLY THINK ABOUT...

They use to say if you are ugly by outside you would be surely awesome from inside... and... if you are beautiful/handsome by outside you might be futile, dumb, rude... well well let's analize this case!

I know someone who is really something like the blair witch's pet spider, yah she's evil as a demon so repulsive she is, well according to the popular belief she might be generous, lovely, a true heart person right? It's wrong.

She, D.E.T.X is the most ridiculous criature i've ever met in my whole life. Stupid, selfish, a pitiful little creature, slag who will never full-fill her most simple desire in life just because she's incompetent . She lies, she cheats... well i guess her ugliness just reflect the fucking monster she has inside herself. The fact of some people who were not benefiting from the inside outward beauty be rewarded with excellent qualities can not be generalized.

However, what about the pretty ladies with their brains full of silicon, makeup, foolish, perversion...? I also know two ladies, Ana & Mia, really beautiful girls who used to be criticized because of their ''shapes''. Well boys and girls at college used to call them futile, ugly, fat, dumb, but they were not all of these things, they were just simple girls who wanted to be part of that society without worring about ''who are they laughing of?'' But then one day these girls took a decision: ''NO ONE WILL LAUGH OF US AGAIN''. So Ana did stop to eat untill her bones almost piercing the pale skin and in few months she was looking like a skeleton. And Mia started to swallow her own fingers to discard all that super-calorie lunch and dinner in a small bucket kept under the bed... oh shit! look at that blood and vomiting mixed! Well at least now they are within the society standards.

Beauty... ugliness.... it's all so relative, should the meaning of beauty be a perfect face, big boobs, awesome body, a great soul, a good heart, consideration for the others, respect, makeup, shiny and soft hair?

And what about the ugliness? Could it be rotten teeth, brittle and dull hair, ghastly face, stupidity, cowardice, cynicism, arrogance, leprous skin?

Who gave you the right of call someone ugly just because this someone doesn't look like you wanted you fagot, or who told you that you can call that pretty girl futile and dumb just because you are not as clever as her you worthless bitch.

EACH ONE HAS THE BEAUTY THAT DESERVES!

SWEET KISSES!

BIZARRE!!

What is the meaning of BIZARRE for you?

1. Could it be eating living rats on breakfast while feeling its little bones braking among your teeths and the disgusting blood flowing through your lips?

2. Or is it the bleeding fists of a young lady who did cut them with a razor just to take her parents attention?

3. Even firing your own head and rubing salt on the red and hot flesh just to feel the delicious sensation of coming out from the own body to another sphere... the pain... (hum it's so good!);

4. Also Hot and kinky copulation of a decent lady with a dirty pig ... not her stern and good husband ... but the piggy produced in the back of the kitchen (oh dirty bitch!);

5. Could it be the darkness, the pain, the coldness, the loneliness around a crying child who grows up with a thought hammering in her head and a voice whispering in her ears saying: ''Be a good girl and take their eyes off with this knife because... they don't love you''...?

Well, my particular view of BIZARRE is: Growing up as a good girl/guy in a lovely family stealing the other kid's toys; going to the most worthy college and making thousand friends who keep their capsules of extasy on their pockets; getting an exelent job where you destroy, hide and steal that amazing and profitable project of your co-worker; having two beautiful kids who you send to a boarding school after they being abused by your sick partner and at last growing old peacefully on your confortable chair with your disgusting bloody hands you MOTHERFUCKER HYPOCRITE!

SWEET KISSES!

BUT... IT'S MY NATURE!

Why are you calling me wild when i'm just defending my kingdom?

By chance do you think that running off is the same of winsdom?

Why are you telling me to retreat when i'm still furious?

Do you really believe that lowering the guard am i gonna be succesful?

Why are you asking me to don't take their lives when my survival means revenge?

By chance do you believe that perfidious ones can change?

Why are you telling me to being an angel when devils are stronger?

It's late... because the pain made me a hell belonger.

Why are you shouting with me to don't make more rolling blood?

If they made me bleed much more than i could?

In the end i can never ever change...

Because my beast nature was forged by pain...

The eternal companion of the damned!

SICK!

This is the prelude to dementia
Where it is not possible to discern
Where ends the laughter or sadness
Where to start laughing or crying.

This is the garden of dead flowers
Where the chimera have such vivid colors
Where the black lady knocks on the door
But her visit is only a glimpse.

The eyes frozen in the invisible ...
The hostility goes throught them
Black hair, joke, smile,
A frown, treachery, vanity.

The other creatures of dementia?
It's the gaze of the flashes of old,

It's being in  euphoria and inertia,
It's having at own face morning and dawn.

BEING AN ANGEL LIVING IN HELL?

I prayed god for health and he gave me this sickness called obsession;

I prayed god for understanding and he gave me a tortuous way to follow;

I prayed god for some help in the painful moments and he gave me more tear to wash my dead garden;

I prayed god for peace and he gave me a wild field to live in and beasts to fight against;

I prayed god for happiness he planted deep seeds of hate in my barren heart;

I prayed god for some heat he sent me harsh winter;

I prayed god for some companionship he took away everyone who i had once with me;

I prayed god for success day by day untill i build my own kingdom and he made my world in ruins in seconds;

I prayed god for him keep one enemy away from me and he made a powerful army to come on their wild horses and fight against me when i was without one single weapon;

I prayed god for protection and he took all the shields from my reach;

I prayed god for freedom in the tender arms of eternity he gave me many years ahead to keep living among my monsters!

I prayed god to make me one of his pure angels and he made me a dirty resident of hell...

CHIMERA

The lights turns on

The fire rises up

There were voices and all kind of noises

And you came taking my hands

Between yours with a smiling face

The joy was the lady of the day

The love was felt everywhere

But then.....................................

My beloved chimera

For my sadness... for my disgrace

I just woke up with a crying face

The lights were still on

The fire turned to a tiny ember

But you dear...........................

You weren't in anyplace

And then i screamed your name

Through forests, mountains and caves

Drinking the rolling tears over my face

That's the way i remember that dream

That's the way the things works

That's the way you had gone that day...

POOR GIRL...

Poor girl who won't be embraced by whom she loves most
Who won't receive a tender kiss of good night
Who won't be listened when her sadness will scream

Who won't have her tears wiped away when her soul will cry so hard

Poor girl who hurt the others with her words
Who deny one single kiss to a child
Who covers the ears when someone ask for her help
Who gives her back when someone turn to her crying

Poor girl who made her heart of stone for being so hurt by the others..!

DEAD LADIES... CHILDREN IN PEACE

Mom and Daddy... please stop crying!

The most painful thing to someone is walk, breath, eat, speak and nevertheless being dead...

Do you know the meaning of having a dead soul inside the body?

Some people needs a hug or a kiss to feel alive but... to another kind of people, means that ones who don't even have any vestige of hope or expectation of future, taking a really long rest is enouth...

All they want is just sleep deeply in the arms of eternity, all the problems seem so small and far when we look through this view, everything seem so easy when life is a hard work to handle...
And moreover it's a big waste of time to cry for someone who is already dead!
So...
If they want to go.... what is the big deal?

OH, SO I HAVE NO SCRUPLES..!

Maybe...

Just because i didn't wake up with a large smile in my face and said to you a hypocrite 'good morning' but actually wanting to cut out your head in my thoughts...

Or because i'm not behind a office desk with that beautiful speech ''oh sure sir.. as you wish sir'' but saying at your face ''i don't fucking care''...

Or even because i didn't obey my parents when they said ''be a good girl, find a great husband, obey him and have lots of children'' and now i'm single, i'm rebel, flirting around and i'm damn successful in my damn life...

So, according to you i have no scruples!

Thank god for that!!

LOOK AT ME!

Look at my beautiful eyes,
Certainly you wanna close them with a kiss of yours...
Look at my tasty lips,
I'm sure that you wanna put yours over them...
Look at my soft and small hands,
I can see your hands wanting to come close mine...

But before you do all these things...

Look at these crying eyes of mine...

Will you dry out this tears that are flowing from them?

Look at my trembling lips...

Will you depart them from the cold?

Look at my bloody hands...

Will you protect me from myself when i'll try to take my own life?

DROPS OF RAIN

He came and took my hands
His tears was flowing like rain
So sad he said "dear friend

.....she did the hell with me"

All i could say was that:

"Don't worry about this
and dry out all your tears,
the time is the best medicine!"

But he kept crying on my hands
He just didn't understand
What i was trying to make him see
Then finaly i told him
This process won't be easy
Forget will spend a time
And forgive.. maybe more than this..
And he turned to me upset
Asking if i ever had
Some sadness just like him
I told him "of course dear
who knows that more than me
what means to die in pain?
and all you have to do

is to forgive and forget"

But he so inoccent
Turned to me looking like a kid
Under a havy rain
"Don't lie to me my friend
that i can even see
while you were talking to me
in your eyes, the hot drops of rain!"

WELCOME!

Hi, I'm Josi Fernandes, a writer and plastic artist... Well i could say that it's a pleasure to receive you in my living room but actually i don't even know who you are or what you mean with these suspicious eyes, reading these lines with brow closed. Sincerely i never open up my doors and windows to any person who appears and knocks saying: ''hi may i come in?''... well in this case i just say ''why should i let you become part of my world?'' And, if you don't give me a good reason you are welcome to go ahead and follow you own way. Actually i'm not the most sweet writer of the world and you will surely see that by yourself  day by day but frankly speaking i really don't care about what you think about me. If you hate or if you love me doesn't matter once i'm a queen in my wonderful dark world of literature and art! At last... oh i almost forgot it... you are really welcome to sit down and take a cup of tea with me, anise tea is my favorite.. but if you don't apreciate that, it's not my problem!

Sweet kisses